watching will bring you closer to fucking, and being, the star-- or at least a hanger on/ fuck a hit song fuck an acting career just work towards that terrific nightmare/ moving in permanently to hotel california, the spanish version/ I’m an unrealistic person/ addicted to the post surgical perks & flirting & growing overwhelmingly uncertain/ dropping off sunglasses and pawning my curtains/ broken foot and loosely organized verses/ I need bob barker to deliver me from this persistent sunshine/ On my skin I develop pain, but if I can internalize it I can realize the nightmare and the dream and the screen and the body and so the existential fodder will be lifted / send me the bill for the coddling / peter and jane fonda / I’ve overstayed my welcome / prima donna / post-madonna/ white wine versions for the summer afternoons / red for the late night tremors last call pitchers and the nudes